SHELTER SPOILT MY CHRISTMAS PARTY?

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SHELTER SPOILT MY CHRISTMAS PARTY?

One of the nice things about Christmas is the office party.  One of the things I traditionally do is collect together the cracker jokes (or to be precise corny riddles based around a Christmas theme) and challenge all my work colleagues to guess the punchline.  Last week we had the Blackstone Moregate party.  This is a financial services company with which I am connected.  The party was held at Braxted Park in deepest Essex, which, like many stately homes, has built a large marquee in its grounds at which it mounts parties.

Imagine my horror when the first person to pull a cracker, shouted “Robert, there’s no jokes in the crackers”.  I thought he was pulling my leg.  How can you have a cracker without a joke?  Christmas crackers were invented in 1845-50 by a sweet-maker, Tom Smith (so the internet informs me) who thought that a cracker with a sweet or small toy and a joke or riddle would be a fun way to sell the sweets and toys.

Indeed, not only did our crackers have no jokes, they had no toys or other trinkets either.  Instead they contained a glossy slip of paper telling us on one side, “Your Fortune Telling Fish has predicted happiness for those in need, and a cleaner planet”, and on the other that, “By pulling this cracker, you are helping Shelter support thousands of families facing homelessness.  What’s more, by removing all plastic components from these crackers, we’ve prevented more than one million pieces of plastic from inevitably ending up in landfill.  Together, we’re fulfilling the true Spirit of Christmas”.

I am puzzled how preventing me having fun fulfils the true Spirit of Christmas.  Christmas is Christian celebration, the Mass of Christ, to celebrate the birth of Christ.  Celebration and fun go hand in hand.  The Bible tells us that the wise men from the East bought gifts for the baby Jesus.  Surely putting a small gift in a Christmas cracker that can either be used or given to a child to play with reflects the spirit of Christmas.  The spirit of Christmas is surely love.  Having fun with one’s fellow human beings is a reflection of love.  I do not think that the Shelter Puritan Christmas reflects the true spirt of Christmas.  Although much in the Bible is not intended to be taken literally, I doubt that actually the wise men turned up empty-handed and lectured the baby Jesus on how lucky he was to have a manger when many had less than that, so rather than give him a gift they were supporting others less fortunate.  I’m not saying that Jesus would not have approved of such a sentiment, but merely that I don’t think he was against people having fun and that fun and compassion are not mutually exclusive.

Actually, the leaflet also bears the logo of Duni, who I have never heard of but whose website tells me that they “deliver high quality table setting concepts and accessories that help restaurants, caterers and take-away businesses create goodfoodmood”.  It is accordingly not readily apparent why they should want to preach to the likes of me.  It also tells me that some 10 percent of their products are plastic-based and then says, “So why are we selling plastic at all?  One reason is that we actively want to persuade our customers to shift to fibre-based solutions.  If we simply stop selling plastic produces, our current customers may get them from another supplier instead.  And then the environment has gained nothing”.  So if they won’t stop selling plastic products, why should they deprive my friends’ grandchildren of the trinkets that traditionally come in crackers?  Most of these are not plastic, they are metal or paper.  And if I want to give a plastic toy car to a kid and don’t find one in my cracker, I will buy one, “and then the environment has gained nothing” in the same way as if Duni stops making plastic products.

My cracker also included a slip of paper saying, “Describe the word Turkey without saying the words, Bird, Roast, Gobble.  That’s easy.  “This cracker is a turkey which means that it disappoints expectations as it does not contain the traditional joke and trinket that are essential to the traditional spirit of Christmas crackers.

My cracker did contain a strong paper hat though.  None of that flimsy thin tissue paper that will disintegrate quickly in landfill.  Sturdy paper that will take years to dissolve.  Or perhaps I am supposed to keep it and reuse it at next year’s party.

By now you probably think that I am heartless and do not care about the homeless.  I certainly do not care about Shelter, whose website tells me that it helps people through advice, support and campaigning and that it spends 21% of its donations on fundraising.  But that is mainly because I think their campaigning one-sided and that they seem to me unable to recognise that private landlords have a vital role in housing and, it seems to me, want to regulate them out of existence.   I do however support a smaller charity that provides food and accommodation to rough sleepers in Westminster and only spends around 7% of my donations on fundraising – oh, and likes to give the homeless presents at Christmas because it wants them to have the pleasure of unwrapping them.

A merry Christmas to all.  If you want a Shelter Puriton Christmas, feel free to do so.  I am going to eat too much and drink too much and not feel at all guilty!

ROBERT MAAS